I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
