I am puke
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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