I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Randomize
