Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
