It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
