I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
