Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
