I feel like abortions should bother me more
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
