i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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