Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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