i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
