Only a mothe r could love this liver
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
