somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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