It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
