can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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