so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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