look no pants
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
