is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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