Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
