Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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