Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
