Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
