Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
