Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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