she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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