feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
