i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
you never un-have a 4some
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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