Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
