Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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