Joe is yelling at the trees again.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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