I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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