I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
