She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize