well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
