Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize