The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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