just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
