i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
