Having a random hookup so left but love u
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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