yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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