Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The power of my boobs compel you
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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