Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
