weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I queefed so loud it echoed.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
