WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Randomize
