her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
