ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
