dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
