Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
