Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
