It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
