we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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