just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
