I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
