Tell her she can't have a vagina
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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