I'm eating all of the evidence.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
