i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
