i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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