Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
