please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
