She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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