it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
