look no pants
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Congratulations! We have a period
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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