We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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