my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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