The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
